Oh, I know. You think that since having kids is not on your radar that you can swipe left on this one. Guess what. I actually wrote this for you. Of course, I’ve got some words for the ladies who are totally here for this topic also, so pull up a chair and get cozy. Probably grab an adult beverage and hang on tight, because we are going to go there.
If you’ve watched any of my YouTube videos, you know that I use vetted scientific research to explain hypothalamic amenorrhea. I spend hours researching, studying, and writing on this and similar topics as a graduate student in psychology. Yup, I’m practically swimming in journal articles...but I am going to tell you a secret: we don’t really need this stuff.
You made it through the first few weeks, or even months, feeling excited and confident that you are doing the right thing. But, then...something happens. It may start as a small voice creeping in, a passing glance at an IG post, or a text from a friend. At some point in the journey to recovery, there is doubt.
It’s Thanksgiving week and although I don’t live in the United States anymore, I have been inundated with friends and family expressing their anxieties about the holidays. It’s not just you, it’s everyone. Although, I will say that there’s a considerable amount of EXTRA chatter of nervousness coming from “us”; the runners, the athletes, the healthy eaters, the nervous, the type As, the in-trainings, the no-periods, the I-need-exercise-to-functions. It would be easy for me to say that all of your worry boils down to two things; am I going to have time to train on Turkey Day and how can I not eat 90% of what’s on the table because it freaks the hell out of me. But, it’s not that easy....we’ll get to that.
Aaaas usual, I am not trying to criticise anyone who feels compelled to produce any of the following kinds of posts on Instagram or their personal blogs. I see this stuff all the time out there and ya know, to each their own. But, I want to make a point here about the fact that there should not be an expectation that everyone has to do the same thing. So, here we go...here are the three things you will NEVER see me post about.
I’ve had a very hard time figuring out where to start with this. It’s complicated, and yet so simple. It’s downright embarrassing and highly personal, but I’m sharing it anyway. Why? Because maybe, just maybe, there’s some girl out there sitting in the same frustrated, lonely, confused place I was in, and maybe, just maybe, my story can help her.
In July 2016 things came crashing down. After another PB half marathon and a bit of work stress, I was feeling unusually tired. In hindsight that was a big warning sign that I should not have ignored. During my long run the next weekend I felt a pain in my lower back/glute. We put it down to tight muscle and tried to ignore it.